Sunday, December 23, 2012


Kso along with those mushy feeling in the last post I'm super duper hyper! I had coffee at like 8 pm (!) and it's 1 am and I'm not even tired. I have no idea why not. Normally I am super tired. Ask Lexie. lololol. Well I'm just randomly typing away on here with not a whole lot to say anymore. I miss my friends already this break. I need to keep up with my dancing and reading on break too but so far I haven't done well with either. I need to catch back up with a few people too. Spend time with my family. I really need to clean my room too. And I have to make most of our Christmas dinner too so that should be fun. (not). I mean I love to cook (what Italians don't? lol) but I can't stand to be in he kitchen with other people. Our kitchen is kind of big but we have this huge table in the middle so we don't have a whole lot of room to move otherwise. If there are two people in there trying to do something it doesn't work. I get mad, throw a hissy fit, and refuse to work in there. it's actually kind of funny if you ask me! I mean I do work better alone no matter what. I hate people most days. I will be nice to them and all but if I can get out of working with them I will. The kitchen is no excuse. I don't use the not liking to work with people to get them out of the kitchen though. Sometimes it is better to work with someone in the kitchen. Other times it's not... Most of the time it is not.

Well, I don't want to keep you up. Maybe you're reading this right before bed or something.

Just keep baking and working on not being misanthropic



P.S- The picture is the coffee I had :)

5 O'clock In The Morning

Ok so it's not 5 in the morning but that gets me started with the topic for this post: songs. It's about 1 in the morning and I'm hyper yet there are some things I really really need to get off my chest. Here lately I've been going strong with my boyfriend and I love it but no matter what it seems that there is always that one song that gives you the chills, makes you think of them, melts you heart, ect... Well. The first time I went over to his house we had to watch a movie that his younger sisters could watch so we chose Tarzan. At the end the screen goes black and "You'll Be In My Heart" by Phil Collins comes on and he just held me really close and murmured the words softly. Just loud enough for me to hear it. Now no matter how stressed, how upset, how alone I am I can think of that moment, listen to that song, and just relax. It makes me feel better. I think that's the moment I really knew him and I were going to last a long time. We've only made it to a little under 2 months now but it'll hopefully go for a lot longer than that. Hopefully your life is going this fine so close to Christmas/the holidays.

Keep calm and listen on.

Happy Holidays


Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Just a thought

I was thinking about life the other day and how much dance has affected it. That's when I remembered I had written this a while ago. I figured I'd share it.

Standing there in the spotlight,
waiting for the music to start,
for the adrenaline to pulse through my veins,
for the dancing to begin.
I live for this.
 Breath slowly as your head begins to spin
and all eyes are on you.

In a split second it's all over.
Standing ovation.
My job here is done.

Along with that I realize I don't post much on here. I have kept a notebook full of stuff I want to put on here but it would take some time. I'd put the date I'd written it and even the time so I can put it on here for you guys to read. My life has been super crazy lately as it normally is in December. Comment and tell me if you want me to put up these entries that I have written throughout my day at school in the the past few weeks.

Keep in touch.


Wednesday, November 14, 2012


Sometimes all it takes is time. It took time for me to get used to the new pointe shoes I now adore. It took time for me to get used to my new glasses, my new life style, my boyfriend, everything really. When you're living your life you don't really notice the changes. At the time they seem small but they all really add up. Here lately I've noticed more and more things happening. That's life for you though. It's been 2 weeks today that me and my new boyfriend have been together. I've known him for a while now but I don't see how things could go wrong. Along with that there's the fact that I'll be tutoring a few kids from my school to help keep them going and get their grades up.
Role model. That's really what I'm becoming. I'm loosing weight, eating healthier, succeeding in the things that I do, help others, and starting this year I'm going to give to people at least once a year. Around the holiday times a lot of people can't get the food that they need. I'm going to start a tradition in my family that if we have what we need that we give to others. It really makes you feel good about yourself. It makes you feel like you can actually make a change. You are the change. Yes. I know, one of those silly lines but really, if everyone thought like this then no one would go hungry.

Let's help those in need this holiday season and may you have the best of times with you family.

P.S- I may not post as much as I did last month but I'll really try to do better about it. My life is going a lot smoother and better thus I feel the need less and less to come out and say what I feel if all I'm feeling is joy. Yes there are some bad things but they aren't as nearly as bad as they were before. Thanks guys for hanging in there and if you need any help or want me to write about something in particular do say so. Thanksgiving is just around the corner and boy, do I have a lot to be thankful for.

~Yoursforever~ <3

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Dancing(and speaking) in the Wings

My very first speech meet is this Saturday and I'm kind of freaking out. I really don't want to do it but I do. I only don't want to do it because I'm nervous. It will be so much fun and I probably won't even do too bad. I just don't want to fail. I don't have all 5 1/2 pages memorized but this is my first time, I'm kind of expected not to. I have to do it. After I do it and do really well I'll feel so much better. My friends that are upper grades told me about how some people do puke and you can smell it ALLLLL down the hall. Let's hope that's not me. I'll just stay calm and not freak out like my brother's girlfriend's sister is just in the room below me. I will have to go to musical practice in a bit and depending on how that goes I might write you guys again. Any other advice on how to stay calm and what do to?

On another note I found out that I have celiac disease and my friend has a really bad infection in his leg and might not be able to do the school musical that we're both part of. This all makes me sad. On a happier thought tomorrow I get to go shopping with my mom for new glasses, new pointe shoes, and possibly contacts and clothes. Can you say whole new look? :)

Stay in touch with yourself but be rational with it, Yoursforever <3

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

All is well

One last thing before I go to bed. Aceman. He pretty much made my day. He irritated me and made me mad like 5 months ago but after a while I cooled down and learned to love him... real fast. He's like so incredibly awesome. I never knew his name or what he looked like until I decided to give him a shot at being less whiny. ;) As we talked more and more him and I just got along better and better. He didn't care that I did silly little things like chew on pens or lost my phone 24/7 or drew on myself. He liked me for me. Aceman. You probably just saved my life for real.

Stay positive. Be yourself. Be forgiving. Stay alive.

Yoursforever- almost positively found a true best (non-friend zoned) friend

The Pocket... and Fears

Here lately I've been having some troubles with fears of mine.
I know, childish right?
There's this story about a monster called The Pocket and it scares me a lot.
 The picture of The Pocket in the story. Creep, eh?

Along with The Pocket I had a strange dream about these giant bugs from Starship Troopers. The huge ones that occur the most often? Yeah, those. They were here on Earth and we eventually got rid of them. I somehow had created one a few years later and only the owner's gun could kill it. Well it got loose and people tried to kill it. Right outside the back door of my house now I shot it. It wouldn't die. It'd eaten some people right where it stood so the police and ambulance were there. The policeman threw me his gun after all of mine had failed. I shot the bug, it died, and I woke up to be ever terrified about being in the dark outside my back door.

 Starship Trooper bug. It's worth being scared of.

Yes, I know. It's typical of people to be scared but of such things as bugs and monsters? I'm a lame person. Zombies. That's the next thing. I'm so scared of them. For some odd reason I believe they exist and they terrify me. I love the show The Walking Dead but they just spark more thoughts of them and I refuse to go outside. Alright. There. I said it. I'm afraid of a lot of things. One of these days I'll get over it but as for now...

     Stay strong brosephs. Love, Yoursforever.

Blogging for Beginners

Today was crazy. For some reason it ended up being sad but it started out by having to run to the bus or be late then when I got there everyone was crabby for some odd reason. Mondays are for being crabby, not Tuesdays. After that it just went down hill. Around 11:30 something weird happened. I realized I didn't want him. Him being this guy I'd been head over heels for since I was little. As I grew up I'd forgotten about him. Once into high school we had to spend every day together in some way or another. I spent more and more time with him and I found out he wasn't worth getting all caught up with. He just wanted me for my body. I just wanted him so I wouldn't be alone. Girls- Don't settle just so you're not alone. Be happy with your life. Things do get better. Boys- Don't treat girls like they're some item. They are people too. Don't just use them and not want anything else to do with them.

As for the ending of my day it's about 9pm now. I had this long conversation with the guy mentioned above and now he won't talk to me. Yes I'm ok with that but he was always there for me. I just don't like him like that. He only wanted my body. I'm left feeling empty and sad.

 But don't worry. Life gets better. Love, Yoursforever